Intro
: Hi! Welcome to the first ever FF3 comedy
by our host. We have many goals this story. Kill Locke for instance...Ahem!
But our main goal is to make you laugh.
: Hey Celes!
: AH! Locke! WARP! *disappears*
: Damn! Lost her again! Don’t worry Celes!
I’m hot on your trail! WARP! *disappears*
Chapter 1
: *appears at Figaro Castle where everyone
else is gathered.*
: Hey Celes.
: Help! You’ve got to hide me!
: *appears* Ha! Found you!
: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! *runs down the hall*
: *runs after Celes*
: Locke! Watch out for the...
: *SLAM! CRASH!*
: Oh no...The good china...
: The chambermaid’s gonna be pissed.
: Shut up Sabin! *storms down the hall*
: I’ll handle this. *Morphs into Celes* Locke!
Come here honey!
: Ooooh! I’m comin’ baby!
: *Lurs Locke into the guest room and casts
Ultima*
: *passes out*
: *Drags Locke’s body back to the hall*
: What should we do with him?
: I say we take a big sword, stab him in
the side, throw him off a cliff, and shove a gold spear up his...
: Celes!
: Hey! Lay off the swearing! We're trying
to appeal to kids!
:
Get bent!
: *a lightbulb appears over her head* I’ve
got it! *pulls out the magicite Bahamut*
: Who doth summon me?
: God damnit! Is there a person in
this world who doesn’t talk like Cyan?!
: Hey!
: Shut up! VANISH!
: *disappears*
: Ha ha! You can’t see me!
: *Concentrates for a minute, then throws
a punch into the air*
: Oof! *THUD!*
: Thanks Sabin. Now, Bahamut!
: *looks up from card table playing solitare*
Huh?
: ****! Just kill Locke!
: Let it be so. SUN FLARE!
:
*is blown down and a chunk of the ceiling falls onto *
: *stands up* Oooo...Hey, thanks!
: S***! Locke’s still alive?! Bahamut you
dumbass! Why can’t these damn Espers do anything right?!
: If that’s how thou feels, I’m leaving!
*disappears*
: Good!
: MIMIC! SUN FLARE!
:
*is blown down*
: Gogo! What the hell did you do that for?
: Edgar! What the hell did you do that for?
: That’s it! ULTIMA!
: MIMIC!
: Ow. Sorry.
: Enough of this! I’m gonna kill Locke if
it’s the last thing I do! WARP! *disappears*
:
*leave on chocobos*
: Will Celes kill Locke? Will these wimps
ever stop fighting? Who cares! Find out in Chapter 2!
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